Not Depressed

It has been so long since I have a had a chance to actually sit down and write what has been on my mind. Well here is my thought for today… Why do I allow myself to get really down when I return back to school.

I love being in college; I’ve become friends with some of the best people. I have had fun going out and also just staying in. But no matter what I seem to start getting a little down. I don’t want to call it depression because I don’t want to claim that about myself. But I do get sad a lot and I have days where I really do not want to talk to anyone. But being me, I pretend to be okay. I really just do not want people asking me what is wrong. I usually start getting this way when I come back to school and I just start getting so stressed. I have days when I want to kick and scream, and cry uncontrollably. Even though it may not help too much, it will help a little. I always try to stay positive about everything that goes on, because there are so many people who have it way worse than I do. I know I am beyond blessed and I have had a pretty good life growing up, but just because that is true it does not mean I have days where I am just not happy.

Since I have been back at school I have daily rants at night with my best friend/ roommate. So happy she listens and she does not judge me. No matter how much I ramble on and on. If it was not for her listening to me I would keep everything bottled up and eventually I would just explode.

I think that is all I want talk about tonight. I really want to do this every night or at least every night. I really helps me out a lot when it comes to talking about my feelings.